Roller Derby
I'd never been to one. Didn't really know that I wanted to go to one.
But, when you are sitting in chemo eight hours a day, seven days a week...you think a lot about what you would like to do. Things that you never did. Things that you might not get to do.
I wanted a few things.
I wanted to be able to be hungry again. My relationship with food, during chemo, was not a happy one. I was constantly told that I needed to eat to "keep up your strength." If my potassium or sodium levels were low, I was told that I needed to eat. The problem? The thought of food made me sick. I could not even watch Burger King commercials on TV without having to look away. I remembered being hungry. I wanted to be hungry again.
I wanted to go to the Wizarding World of Harry Potter. Everyone told me to go to the one in Florida but after I spoke to someone who had been to both the one there and the one in California, I was told that they are pretty much the same, except that the Florida one is more chaotic. So, I decided that if I was ever able to be away from a bathroom (puking, diarrhea....) for more than five hours at a time, I would go there and get a wand.
I wanted to see the finale of Game of Thrones. Aside from Breaking Bad and The Sopranos, it is the only show that I have followed from day one. I was/am emotionally invested in Jon Snow and needed to know that he made it through okay.
I wanted to go to Ireland. Not in some group. Just T and me. Just us. Just the two of us with a car that we weren't sure how to drive, a map that we could barely understand and the sense of adventure that we had when we were young lovers. I wanted to stay in a bed and breakfast with a picture of the pope on the wall. I wanted to try the local food, hear the local talk. And I didn't want to do any of that on a tour bus. I wanted to have to depend a little bit on the kindness of strangers.
I wanted to go to every home game of the Cornhuskers.
I wanted to go to the roller derby.
So, far...I am doing pretty well on that list. I am occasionally hungry again. Not often, but sometimes. And it is nice to crave a piece of crunchy peanut butter toast and bite into it with happiness.
We are going to The Wizarding World over the Christmas holidays. Not the best time to go. A busy time to travel and, unfortunately, the BUSIEST time for Harry. But, it is the only time that T can get away from work. So, we are booked first class. We are going.
Game of Thrones finale is set to air in June of 2019. There is a real possibility that I will be alive.
We are tentatively planning a spring trip to Ireland. Just us. It is still in the sit-down-and-dream process. We are looking at Galway. At Killarney. We are looking.
We have season tickets to see every home game of the Huskers. And EXCELLENT seats.
And yesterday, I went to a roller derby tourney. The Saddletramps from Tucson were playing a team from Calgary. We got there early, thinking there would be a large, raucous crowd of people with wild hair in leather jackets.
We were dead wrong.
The stadium was not even 1/3 filled. The crowd was a mix, like all crowds. A few were wild haired. A few looked like me: an older woman with a cane and gray hair. When the roller derby skaters came out, there were no loud roars. They looked serious. Like serious athletes on a mission.
I expected to see lots of pushing and shoving and some truly unacceptable behavior....from the players. Not much to speak of, though.What I did see was a group of women who could skate their asses off, who could fall down hard and get back up just as fast.
I loved the speed of it. The zipline speed of women skating in tandem, protecting their own jammer while trying to prevent the opposing team's jammer from getting through. I was awed watching one very large woman holding a pack of four women while she skated backwards. She was like a wall. Their leg muscles were astonishing to see.
I would love to be able to skate like that. In my next life, I will make sure that I learn to skate. Because just once, I want to skate backwards while holding an opposing force that is three times my size.
And then, I realize something. I HAVE done that. I beat cancer. Twice. I have skated backwards more than once and held back something that was so big that I could not believe I was holding it off.
We did have fun. I don't know if we'll go back, though. T could not get a bead on the rules and lost interest fast. I enjoyed it but not immensely.
I think that Harry Potter and Ireland may prove to be more my cup of tea.
But, when you are sitting in chemo eight hours a day, seven days a week...you think a lot about what you would like to do. Things that you never did. Things that you might not get to do.
I wanted a few things.
I wanted to be able to be hungry again. My relationship with food, during chemo, was not a happy one. I was constantly told that I needed to eat to "keep up your strength." If my potassium or sodium levels were low, I was told that I needed to eat. The problem? The thought of food made me sick. I could not even watch Burger King commercials on TV without having to look away. I remembered being hungry. I wanted to be hungry again.
I wanted to go to the Wizarding World of Harry Potter. Everyone told me to go to the one in Florida but after I spoke to someone who had been to both the one there and the one in California, I was told that they are pretty much the same, except that the Florida one is more chaotic. So, I decided that if I was ever able to be away from a bathroom (puking, diarrhea....) for more than five hours at a time, I would go there and get a wand.
I wanted to see the finale of Game of Thrones. Aside from Breaking Bad and The Sopranos, it is the only show that I have followed from day one. I was/am emotionally invested in Jon Snow and needed to know that he made it through okay.
I wanted to go to Ireland. Not in some group. Just T and me. Just us. Just the two of us with a car that we weren't sure how to drive, a map that we could barely understand and the sense of adventure that we had when we were young lovers. I wanted to stay in a bed and breakfast with a picture of the pope on the wall. I wanted to try the local food, hear the local talk. And I didn't want to do any of that on a tour bus. I wanted to have to depend a little bit on the kindness of strangers.
I wanted to go to every home game of the Cornhuskers.
I wanted to go to the roller derby.
So, far...I am doing pretty well on that list. I am occasionally hungry again. Not often, but sometimes. And it is nice to crave a piece of crunchy peanut butter toast and bite into it with happiness.
We are going to The Wizarding World over the Christmas holidays. Not the best time to go. A busy time to travel and, unfortunately, the BUSIEST time for Harry. But, it is the only time that T can get away from work. So, we are booked first class. We are going.
Game of Thrones finale is set to air in June of 2019. There is a real possibility that I will be alive.
We are tentatively planning a spring trip to Ireland. Just us. It is still in the sit-down-and-dream process. We are looking at Galway. At Killarney. We are looking.
We have season tickets to see every home game of the Huskers. And EXCELLENT seats.
And yesterday, I went to a roller derby tourney. The Saddletramps from Tucson were playing a team from Calgary. We got there early, thinking there would be a large, raucous crowd of people with wild hair in leather jackets.
We were dead wrong.
The stadium was not even 1/3 filled. The crowd was a mix, like all crowds. A few were wild haired. A few looked like me: an older woman with a cane and gray hair. When the roller derby skaters came out, there were no loud roars. They looked serious. Like serious athletes on a mission.
I expected to see lots of pushing and shoving and some truly unacceptable behavior....from the players. Not much to speak of, though.What I did see was a group of women who could skate their asses off, who could fall down hard and get back up just as fast.
I loved the speed of it. The zipline speed of women skating in tandem, protecting their own jammer while trying to prevent the opposing team's jammer from getting through. I was awed watching one very large woman holding a pack of four women while she skated backwards. She was like a wall. Their leg muscles were astonishing to see.
I would love to be able to skate like that. In my next life, I will make sure that I learn to skate. Because just once, I want to skate backwards while holding an opposing force that is three times my size.
And then, I realize something. I HAVE done that. I beat cancer. Twice. I have skated backwards more than once and held back something that was so big that I could not believe I was holding it off.
We did have fun. I don't know if we'll go back, though. T could not get a bead on the rules and lost interest fast. I enjoyed it but not immensely.
I think that Harry Potter and Ireland may prove to be more my cup of tea.
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