The Doctor
I've not had a doctor appointment or had to get any bone marrow tests or labs in two weeks. Sort of a record for me.
Since April, 2017, I have not had more than five days go by without either a doctor appointment, some medical test or another or a lab. It has been frustrating in a way that only another cancer patient could ever understand.
Since that time, medical procedures have become a critical part of my life.
So, going for TWO weeks without anything was like a present. A gift.
But, today, it was back to real life. I met with my endocrinologist, Dr. S. I still feel pouty. It was fun playing normal person even if it was just for a short while.
I went in and showed my new insurance card. My wife recently changed jobs and we have new insurance. This is hard in itself. This is how it went:
Me: I have a new insurance card.
Receptionist: (an older woman....I always hope for the younger ones in cases like this, for reasons that you will soon see...) Okay. Thank you.
Let's give her a name. She didn't have a name tag on but I will just call her Bea. Bea looks at the card and then up at me.
B: Who is this person? (she points to the name on the card...)
Me: It is my wife. I am on her insurance.
B: (looks baffled) Your what?
Me: (sighing...this is 2018, but in Nebraska it takes a while to catch up) She is my WIFE.
Every head in the waiting room pops up. Some look up and quickly look back down. A few younger people look unconcerned. One older man and his wife actually look at each other and sneer.
B: (flustered) OH! Well, um, okey dokey.
She enters in all the information and hands the card back to me, holding it gingerly in two fingers, as if it were unclean. I take it. Sit down. My name is called. I find out that I have gained 7 pounds, but my blood pressure is excellent.
One thing that I love about Dr. S is that she is usually on time. She is Indian and has a bright red dot between her eyes. She smiles, but it is not a warm smile. I do not take it personally. Dr. S is just not cut out for this doctor/patient thing. She is brilliant. She is a good doctor. But, she does not really like talking to people. She was meant to be in research. I put up with this because I know that I am in good hands.
She dourly congratulates me for "only" gaining 7 pounds. I tell her that this confuses me because I have been eating much less than usual, am just not hungry. She tells me that one of the drugs that I am on has the unfortunate side effect of weight gain.
"Most people gain at least 20 pounds," she says casually. "Although it isn't unheard of to gain 30 or 40 pounds."
I am shocked. GOOD HELL. FORTY POUNDS???
I tell her that this is all the more reason for me to have the ablation done on my badly misbehaving thyroid as soon as possible.
She tells me that I must go on a low iodine diet for at least a month prior to the procedure and go off most of my medications for two weeks prior. I look at the low iodine diet and am perplexed. I am not allowed to eat eggs, anything salted, dairy, coffee, or meat for a month? But, I can eat almost all the fruits and veggies I desire. Joy. And that the two weeks prior to the procedure will be very uncomfortable as I will be off all of my RA meds, Meniere's syndrome meds, and thyroid meds.
"You'll feel pretty yucky," she says. I can look forward to explosive diarrhea, extreme pain and dizziness and nausea. Plus, I think, I probably won't miss my coffee and eggs that much since I will be too sick to eat AT ALL.
All of this for a misbehaving thyroid.
Once, it is removed, though...I just have to take a pill for the rest of my life and I'm good.
It's a trade off, like everything else has been for me in the last three years. It is hard for me to believe that just three years ago I was getting up every morning and working a busy job. I was not sick, really, except for the occasional cold and managing diabetes.
Now, it seems...I am constantly fighting something, constantly staving off one attack or another. I had to take the arsenic to combat the leukemia. I had to have chemo and radiation to kill the breast cancer. I have to have bone marrow tests every other month to make sure that I stay in remission from said leukemia. Same for lab tests.
And I will now add more tests to make sure that my thyroid stops misbehaving. I sometimes feel as if my body is like I had this compliant, pretty decent child that I was raising and now she is this teenager who goes around sneaking out at night, smoking cigarettes out her bedroom window and falling in love with inappropriate boys on motorcycles. Oh..and also smarting off to all her teachers so that I am constantly being pulled in to one appointment or another to "talk things over" that she has done and try to figure out how to prevent her from continuing to make these choices.
How did my body get so unruly? It used to be so obedient, so cheerful!
After blood was taken at Dr. S's, I sat in my car and filled out my datebook with all my new appointments and labs, office visits and hospital procedures.
And then, I stopped at Starbucks for a pumpkin spice latte. I won't be able to have coffee for a month soon. I better get my caffeine fix while I can.
"You're welcome, little bitch," I told my body.
Since April, 2017, I have not had more than five days go by without either a doctor appointment, some medical test or another or a lab. It has been frustrating in a way that only another cancer patient could ever understand.
Since that time, medical procedures have become a critical part of my life.
So, going for TWO weeks without anything was like a present. A gift.
But, today, it was back to real life. I met with my endocrinologist, Dr. S. I still feel pouty. It was fun playing normal person even if it was just for a short while.
I went in and showed my new insurance card. My wife recently changed jobs and we have new insurance. This is hard in itself. This is how it went:
Me: I have a new insurance card.
Receptionist: (an older woman....I always hope for the younger ones in cases like this, for reasons that you will soon see...) Okay. Thank you.
Let's give her a name. She didn't have a name tag on but I will just call her Bea. Bea looks at the card and then up at me.
B: Who is this person? (she points to the name on the card...)
Me: It is my wife. I am on her insurance.
B: (looks baffled) Your what?
Me: (sighing...this is 2018, but in Nebraska it takes a while to catch up) She is my WIFE.
Every head in the waiting room pops up. Some look up and quickly look back down. A few younger people look unconcerned. One older man and his wife actually look at each other and sneer.
B: (flustered) OH! Well, um, okey dokey.
She enters in all the information and hands the card back to me, holding it gingerly in two fingers, as if it were unclean. I take it. Sit down. My name is called. I find out that I have gained 7 pounds, but my blood pressure is excellent.
One thing that I love about Dr. S is that she is usually on time. She is Indian and has a bright red dot between her eyes. She smiles, but it is not a warm smile. I do not take it personally. Dr. S is just not cut out for this doctor/patient thing. She is brilliant. She is a good doctor. But, she does not really like talking to people. She was meant to be in research. I put up with this because I know that I am in good hands.
She dourly congratulates me for "only" gaining 7 pounds. I tell her that this confuses me because I have been eating much less than usual, am just not hungry. She tells me that one of the drugs that I am on has the unfortunate side effect of weight gain.
"Most people gain at least 20 pounds," she says casually. "Although it isn't unheard of to gain 30 or 40 pounds."
I am shocked. GOOD HELL. FORTY POUNDS???
I tell her that this is all the more reason for me to have the ablation done on my badly misbehaving thyroid as soon as possible.
She tells me that I must go on a low iodine diet for at least a month prior to the procedure and go off most of my medications for two weeks prior. I look at the low iodine diet and am perplexed. I am not allowed to eat eggs, anything salted, dairy, coffee, or meat for a month? But, I can eat almost all the fruits and veggies I desire. Joy. And that the two weeks prior to the procedure will be very uncomfortable as I will be off all of my RA meds, Meniere's syndrome meds, and thyroid meds.
"You'll feel pretty yucky," she says. I can look forward to explosive diarrhea, extreme pain and dizziness and nausea. Plus, I think, I probably won't miss my coffee and eggs that much since I will be too sick to eat AT ALL.
All of this for a misbehaving thyroid.
Once, it is removed, though...I just have to take a pill for the rest of my life and I'm good.
It's a trade off, like everything else has been for me in the last three years. It is hard for me to believe that just three years ago I was getting up every morning and working a busy job. I was not sick, really, except for the occasional cold and managing diabetes.
Now, it seems...I am constantly fighting something, constantly staving off one attack or another. I had to take the arsenic to combat the leukemia. I had to have chemo and radiation to kill the breast cancer. I have to have bone marrow tests every other month to make sure that I stay in remission from said leukemia. Same for lab tests.
And I will now add more tests to make sure that my thyroid stops misbehaving. I sometimes feel as if my body is like I had this compliant, pretty decent child that I was raising and now she is this teenager who goes around sneaking out at night, smoking cigarettes out her bedroom window and falling in love with inappropriate boys on motorcycles. Oh..and also smarting off to all her teachers so that I am constantly being pulled in to one appointment or another to "talk things over" that she has done and try to figure out how to prevent her from continuing to make these choices.
How did my body get so unruly? It used to be so obedient, so cheerful!
After blood was taken at Dr. S's, I sat in my car and filled out my datebook with all my new appointments and labs, office visits and hospital procedures.
And then, I stopped at Starbucks for a pumpkin spice latte. I won't be able to have coffee for a month soon. I better get my caffeine fix while I can.
"You're welcome, little bitch," I told my body.
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