Hogwarts

It was fun. But, truthfully? It wasn't....magical. I think the problem was that I had waited for so long to get there. Postponed the trip twice. I had it built up in my mind to a degree that was impossible for it to meet in real time.

Don't get me wrong. It was lovely. Drinking butter beer? A very sweet experience. Pumpkin juice? Not so much, but still fun. The rides were fun, especially the flight of the hippogriff. Seeing all the stores.....buying Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Beans and Fizzing Whizzbees. The sorting hat. Ollivanders.

The whole experience was a lot of fun. There were tons of college aged kids dressed in Hogwarts gowns and the four different scarves of each house. They would help you at a moment's notice, offer to take photos of you and your loved ones, point you to where you wanted to be.

It was beautifully done. It was like stepping right into the books. I wasn't there at night, but heard that it even snowed at night there.

I had flown to California specifically to see this place. But, it wasn't the highlight of my trip. My pragmatic self was not able to step into my daydreams. I enjoyed the actors, but even as I watched, I knew I was watching very good actors.

I did get a wand. I got Luna Lovegood's wand. I had wandered into Ollivanders wand shop with the idea that I wanted Sirius Black's wand. I have always liked runes and I knew that his was covered in them. I took it out of the box, tested it in my hand. Shook my head. Just not me. I looked at several more, finally settling on Luna Lovegood's. It was delicate, but sturdy. More me. I think I aspire to Sirius, but am really more of a Luna. I have a few spells up my sleeve but haven't felt strong enough to try them yet.

You just never know, do you?

I had always liked the character of Sirius. The way he insisted on being himself and not what his family wanted him to be. His slippery sense of humor. The way that, in the end, he was willing to sacrifice his all for the sake of a belief. Yet, Luna was just as strong in many ways. She never faced the adversity on the level that Sirius did, but she proved her mettle. And she never once apologized for being herself. So...I took to her wand.

T grabbed Mad Eye Moody's wand. She just liked the heft of it, the sheer DON'T FUCK WITH ME look of it. It fit her.

I think that those wands were our favorite part of Hogwarts. The wands sit on our bedroom dresser now. Mine lays over hers tenderly.

I love the idea of Hogwarts. I loved the books. I read them with L. We started them the Summer before she went into first grade and finished them the Summer before she went into fourth grade. We spent hours on the sun porch, me on a chair, L laying sprawled on the floor.  Her face rapt. Once, as I read to her up in her bedroom after her shower, she lay on her bed wrapped in a towel, her wet hair soaking her pillow. After I closed the book and suggested that we visit Harry again tomorrow, she looked at me solemnly. I think she was 7.

"Is Hogwarts real?"

I was taken by surprise. I stalled for time at first and then told her that Hogwarts was, yes indeed, real....but you had to be a certain sort of person or it wasn't. You had to be open to the fact that faeries did live in back yards and that leprechauns strutted around. That it was possible that tiny people lived in the floor boards underneath our houses and that there were many, many other worlds besides ours.

"Do you believe in those things?" I asked her.  She nodded. I smiled.

"Then, one day, you just might get an invitation to go to Hogwarts. We'll have to see," I said.

L stretched out like a cat on her bed, wondered aloud what house she would belong to, if she were to be invited. I shrugged. Said I wasn't sure.

"But...maybe you'll be like me....and be a Ravenclaw." I said this casually and then bobbed my head back into her room to smile at her wide open mouth.

L still remembers this day.

"I was so excited," she tells me. "I feel as if my whole childhood was this wonderful, magical place."

This pleases me. All childhoods should be that way. She would grow older and grow out of most of her magical thinking. We all do.


Maybe that is why we all seek to explore The Wizarding World of Harry Potter and other places. To get it back, just for a bit.

But you never believe quite as hard as you do as when you are a child. I sometimes think that if we all could just hold on to that, we would have more real magic in the world.

For now.....I'll settle for that wand on the dresser. It calls to me.

I just have to answer and.....

Believe.