Namaste
Back from the dentist. Ex-rays show that all is fine. Dentist believes that my tooth pain was because I have had an uneven bite for years and since it hasn't bothered me before, do I want to have her fix it? I tell her no. I can't have dental work and Xgeva. I'll just deal with my uneven bite that I swear I didn't know about until just this morning. But, I am not going to get into a rift with my dentist over this.
In the car, I start to turn the key on and then stop and just sit there for a moment. I have to laugh.
At one time, this uneven bite thing would have been a problem for me. Now, it seems like a tiny thing. For fuck sake, I have terminal cancer. An uneven bite is nothing to me.
Time to be grateful. The ex-ray was clear. No tumors. No weird growths.
Namaste. Peace. Thank you.
Yesterday, I was taking my afternoon nap. I woke up to T's arms around me, her body right up next to mine. She whispered into my ear, "I hope you aren't still mad about The Red Cross mix-up. Baby, I am SO sorry. I swear I didn't know about the age/veteran thing. Honey, we have so little time. Let's not waste it."
I rolled over. Told her that I was already over it. That I was sorry. It was just a hard day and well, she knew what even the word "DENTIST" did to me. She nodded solemnly. She doesn't really understand, though. This woman has NEVER had a cavity. Not one. She could brush her teeth with a twig every night and her teeth would always be perfect. Me? Each and every time I go to the dentist, there is something wrong. Or....not so much now that I am older. But, I had a bad experience when I was in high school that gave me dental phobia.
This is what happened. We had one dentist in the small town that we lived in. A traveling specialty dentist from a bigger town visited twice a month. He was elderly. I was vain and worried because my front tooth was turning grey. He looked at it, proclaimed that it was dead and that he would insert something inside my tooth to keep it from turning black. Now...when I tell this story to other dentists, they blanche. They have never heard of such a thing. But...it happened. So, the dentist started making a hole in the back of my tooth...without numbing it. I screamed bloody murder. He told me to stop acting like a baby and went back to work. I kept screaming, finally begging for my mother who was in the waiting room. He reluctantly went and got her, explained to her what was going on and told her that her daughter was acting like a prima donna baby. That the tooth was DEAD and I could not feel anything. My mother scolded me and told me to stop embarrassing her, that she could hear me screaming in the waiting room. Then, she APOLOGIZED to the dentist. He went back to work. I not only fainted, but wet my pants. I was 17. It was the Spring before I graduated from high school. The tooth never went black, but stayed grayish. I didn't go back to a dentist until I was 29 and in so much dental pain that T begged me to go. When I told my new dentist what had happened, he was flabbergasted, asked me the old dentist's name. I couldn't remember it. He said that there was definitely a hole in that front tooth that had healed nicely, but it was not dead, it was perfectly healthy. He whitened it for me. He also gave me five crowns. I stayed with him until he retired several years ago.
Now, I have a new dentist....but I am still dental phobic. I showed her that hole, too and she, in turn, was bewildered.
So, going to the dentist is a fucking big deal. And yes, I did tell my mother about it many years later and she did apologize.
"He was a doctor. I just figured he was right. Why would he DO THAT to you?"
The question I should have asked my mother was, "Why did you LET him?" But, I have long ago forgiven her.
So, T and I cuddled up in those blankets and talked and ended up laughing about what we would end up calling The Red Cross fiasco. Especially, when I told her that the volunteer had to bat away COBWEBS from our ceiling to put up the fire alarms. For some reason, instead of finding this embarrassing, we found it hysterically funny. We also laughed about the fact that I kept calling T my wife and the worker kept insisting on calling her your husband.
"What do I know?" said T. "I'm an elderly veteran." This sent us off into gales of laughter.
Laughter, I hear, is very good for a marriage.
So, a better day today. Waiting for lab results.
Some good things about today:
1) It did not snow here. Places around us got up to 2 feet of snow. We were somehow spared.
2) My ex-rays were clear.
3) There is a marathon of GOT all day, every day this week.
4) I am married to a very witty woman.
5) I am still alive.
6) There is a shelf of books in my office just waiting to be read.
7) The trees are still budding even though the temperatures have fallen to near freezing. They are prairie trees. They find a way to survive.
8) As I was leaving the dentist's office today, a man was coming in. He put his hands together and said, "Namaste" as I walked by him. I put my hands together and returned a "Namaste" of my own.
Namaste to you, as well. Peace. I bow to the divine in you.
May we all know good dentists and have only clear ex-rays.
In the car, I start to turn the key on and then stop and just sit there for a moment. I have to laugh.
At one time, this uneven bite thing would have been a problem for me. Now, it seems like a tiny thing. For fuck sake, I have terminal cancer. An uneven bite is nothing to me.
Time to be grateful. The ex-ray was clear. No tumors. No weird growths.
Namaste. Peace. Thank you.
Yesterday, I was taking my afternoon nap. I woke up to T's arms around me, her body right up next to mine. She whispered into my ear, "I hope you aren't still mad about The Red Cross mix-up. Baby, I am SO sorry. I swear I didn't know about the age/veteran thing. Honey, we have so little time. Let's not waste it."
I rolled over. Told her that I was already over it. That I was sorry. It was just a hard day and well, she knew what even the word "DENTIST" did to me. She nodded solemnly. She doesn't really understand, though. This woman has NEVER had a cavity. Not one. She could brush her teeth with a twig every night and her teeth would always be perfect. Me? Each and every time I go to the dentist, there is something wrong. Or....not so much now that I am older. But, I had a bad experience when I was in high school that gave me dental phobia.
This is what happened. We had one dentist in the small town that we lived in. A traveling specialty dentist from a bigger town visited twice a month. He was elderly. I was vain and worried because my front tooth was turning grey. He looked at it, proclaimed that it was dead and that he would insert something inside my tooth to keep it from turning black. Now...when I tell this story to other dentists, they blanche. They have never heard of such a thing. But...it happened. So, the dentist started making a hole in the back of my tooth...without numbing it. I screamed bloody murder. He told me to stop acting like a baby and went back to work. I kept screaming, finally begging for my mother who was in the waiting room. He reluctantly went and got her, explained to her what was going on and told her that her daughter was acting like a prima donna baby. That the tooth was DEAD and I could not feel anything. My mother scolded me and told me to stop embarrassing her, that she could hear me screaming in the waiting room. Then, she APOLOGIZED to the dentist. He went back to work. I not only fainted, but wet my pants. I was 17. It was the Spring before I graduated from high school. The tooth never went black, but stayed grayish. I didn't go back to a dentist until I was 29 and in so much dental pain that T begged me to go. When I told my new dentist what had happened, he was flabbergasted, asked me the old dentist's name. I couldn't remember it. He said that there was definitely a hole in that front tooth that had healed nicely, but it was not dead, it was perfectly healthy. He whitened it for me. He also gave me five crowns. I stayed with him until he retired several years ago.
Now, I have a new dentist....but I am still dental phobic. I showed her that hole, too and she, in turn, was bewildered.
So, going to the dentist is a fucking big deal. And yes, I did tell my mother about it many years later and she did apologize.
"He was a doctor. I just figured he was right. Why would he DO THAT to you?"
The question I should have asked my mother was, "Why did you LET him?" But, I have long ago forgiven her.
So, T and I cuddled up in those blankets and talked and ended up laughing about what we would end up calling The Red Cross fiasco. Especially, when I told her that the volunteer had to bat away COBWEBS from our ceiling to put up the fire alarms. For some reason, instead of finding this embarrassing, we found it hysterically funny. We also laughed about the fact that I kept calling T my wife and the worker kept insisting on calling her your husband.
"What do I know?" said T. "I'm an elderly veteran." This sent us off into gales of laughter.
Laughter, I hear, is very good for a marriage.
So, a better day today. Waiting for lab results.
Some good things about today:
1) It did not snow here. Places around us got up to 2 feet of snow. We were somehow spared.
2) My ex-rays were clear.
3) There is a marathon of GOT all day, every day this week.
4) I am married to a very witty woman.
5) I am still alive.
6) There is a shelf of books in my office just waiting to be read.
7) The trees are still budding even though the temperatures have fallen to near freezing. They are prairie trees. They find a way to survive.
8) As I was leaving the dentist's office today, a man was coming in. He put his hands together and said, "Namaste" as I walked by him. I put my hands together and returned a "Namaste" of my own.
Namaste to you, as well. Peace. I bow to the divine in you.
May we all know good dentists and have only clear ex-rays.
there was a dentist who was so rude
ReplyDeletehr drilled a hole in my front tooth
i cried and cried for my mother dear
she said to stop whining have no fear
so i did what was told and took the pain
i hope he had to live with that piss stain.. :)