Thank you, Lee DeWyze

I never planned on being a "fan." I was just sitting on my sofa, idly channel surfing when I landed on this young guy singing a Hinder song. I couldn't change the channel. Something about that face. That tone. 

I am not much of a music expert. I like what I like and it mostly has to do with lyrics and the way the music makes me feel. 

I listen to Van Halen's Jump and I want to leap around. Everything in me lights up. 

I listen to John Denver's Rocky Mountain High and everything in me goes all soft and dreamy, like the perfect high. 

I listen to Kathleen Edwards' Mercury and I am back to that place where everything hurts and nothing will ever be right again and only she gets it. 

I listen to Brandi Carlisle's Party of One and I understand marriage. That push and pull. 

I never planned to pretty much adore everything that Lee DeWyze writes. I never had the slightest idea on that night when I watched American Idol for the first time only because I wanted to see him sing some more, that he would become part of my daily life. 

As I said, I'm no expert, but I can honestly say that I have yet to hear a DeWyze song that does not move me in some way. I like some better than others, but I don't dislike anything of his. 

He has no idea how many nights his voice soothed me when I didn't think I could stand the bone pain of cancer for one. more. minute. I held on to his voice like a hand reaching out to me when I was drowning. 

I'm no fangirl. I am not a swooner. He is young enough to be my child. I don't have any great desire to meet him or go to one of his concerts. I just like his voice. I like his lyrics. I like how he splices them together. I feel comforted when I hear him sing. And pleased. I feel like turning up the sound just a little. 

I feel understood in some bizarre way. I'm always wary that his next album or song will be that one, the one that breaks the spell. It never is. 

I don't know if he will ever be popular. Right now, if I mention his name, most have no idea who he is....or if they do, they remember something vaguely to do with American Idol, which I admit that I have not watched since his win. And I kind of like it that way. I like it that his songs feel like I'm eavesdropping on my neighbor sitting on his porch strumming on a guitar on a night when all I want to do is drink my Tullamore Dew and look up at the sky. 

And listen. 

So, thank you. Thank you, Lee. Cancer is easier when you're here with me, crooning.