Chugging

One of the hardest things to do when you are a cancer fighter is to eat or drink. Nothing wants to stay down. The last thing I want to do is drink gallons of water a day. Yet, it is part of my regimen to help my body survive. 

My days are spent....chugging. And not gin and tonics. Or Tullamore Dew. No. I drink so much water that I feel like a human swimming pool. I drink power drinks, protein drinks, drinks that help to replenish all the nutrients that my chemo treatments are draining out of me. 

I was never a big hydrating person to begin with. I DID marry a person who drinks water all day long and loves it. She carries water bottles with her the way that I carry books. I will often see her standing at the kitchen sink, looking out at the birds in the back yard and drinking a huge glass of water. Savoring it. Enjoying it. 

Drinking water is a chore for me. Plus, I don't feel well when I am full of water. I feel.....sloshy. T does not get this. She often says things like, "Sometimes the only thing that hits the spot is a big glass of water." 

This baffles me. I used to drink more liquids when I was a working gal. I was the self proclaimed coffee maker at work because I refused to buy low brand coffee and only bought the best and I brewed it with water that did not come from the sink in the bathroom. I used water from the filtered water dispenser. And I bought only good dark roast beans, preferably from Africa. I sometimes went with a good Jamaican or Guatemalan coffee, but only occasionally. I would drink four to five cups per day, all sugarless but with a splash of goat milk. 

Lunch would be milk. I have always liked milk. Then, all afternoon I would sip from my container of green tea. So, I stayed hydrated. When I retired, my liquid intake went way down. I allowed myself a venti Starbucks every morning. And maybe a few sips of milk for lunch. But, the green tea went to the wayside. 

When I found out that I had cancer again, I was told not to drink green tea, so I skipped it. Skipped ALL drinking in the afternoon. 

Now, I am both anemic and dehydrated at nearly every lab test I get. T, being T, researched the matter and has found the top protein drinks and I drink them now. But, I don't really like them. 

And with the cancer came the chemo which caused the puking. So, now there is the whole business of being able to simply hold down what I drink. 

It's a struggle. But there I am, carting around my bottle of water. Sipping it. Hating it. 

I've spoken to my group about this and find that I am not alone. Pretty much everyone hates guzzling water. Or protein drinks. About the only thing that we ALL love to drink is coffee and most of us are limited to one cup per day because of the caffeine. (And don't say "Why don't you try drinking de-caf?" Decaffeinated coffee is pure swill.)

So, I searched for something to motivate me. And finally found it. T is going to a seminar in California in mid July. She booked us both on the flight and rented a small cottage on the beach for us. She will go to her seminar all day and I plan to sit seaside with a book and let the sun sink into my always freezing cold bones. I spoke to my oncologist today and she said that these plans were great but that I really needed to tackle my anemia and dehydration before I flew in a plane. 

So, we have the date up on our fridge door. I see it every time I reach for my protein drinks, probiotic shots, and bottles of water. If I picture the ocean, I can make myself drink. 

I may slosh when I walk in the sand, but I will be there. 

I need to see the sea.