"Are you home?"

Last evening, T went out to buy a new phone while I drove our other car to the bank to get some dollars and then to mail a few letters. In the Summer, I rarely drive. T does it all and frankly, it is a luxury for me. My arms are getting weak, especially my right one and sometimes just turning the steering wheel hurts. I can no longer hold heavy books up to read them. What a pain in the ass. 

But, I didn't really want to go phone shopping with T. I knew it would take a long time and I wanted to get other chores done, so I just took the other car. 

I had just arrived home from chores when my phone rang. It was T.

"I just wanted to see how this new phone works," she said. I assured her that it was working fine. 

"So, are you home?" she asked. I said that I was. There was a long silence. 

"Hello? Are you still there?" I said. 

"I'm here," she answered, her voice thick. She said she had to go since she was driving and we hung up. 

Later, after she had been back home for a while, she came to me for a hug. She held me for a long time, not letting go, so I stood in the circle of her arms. I finally pulled back, looking at her, questioning. 

"It just sort of knocked me flat," she said. I was confused and said so. 

"When I asked if you were home and you said yes," she said. "I thought to myself how wonderful it was to have someone to come home to. How nice it was to have you to call and ask if you were home. OUR home. And how awful it will be when you aren't here anymore." 

I didn't answer. What could I say? I suppose I could have said something goopy like, "I will always be in your heart and that is home" or some such thing, but I knew that it wouldn't comfort her. It wouldn't be enough. 

So, I just stood there, holding her. Our heads tight on each other's shoulders.