The day before
God, how I hate them. The days before a test. Especially the day before. I think that if I had decent veins I would do better. But, I always know that I will forever be....that patient. The one with the incredibly crummy veins.
And it is always the same. I always tell the nurse that I have terrible veins and request that he or she find that nurse. The one that every hospital/doctor's office has. The one who is a vein ninja. They never believe me. Ever. Until they try. And then...low and behold...they are true believers. I think it is a pride thing sometimes. They never want to admit that they can't get my vein and are convinced that if I just let them try, they will get it.
This used to make me so mad. Until I talked to a friend of mine who is a nurse. She told me that pretty much everyone says that they are a hard stick and pretty much everyone is lying. That 3/4 of the time, she can easily stick them.
I don't lie. I am not just a hard stick. I am a fucking hard stick. I have been told by many frustrated nurses and phlebotomists that my veins run sideways instead of straight down. That they roll and dive. That they are prone to collapse. I even had one incredibly frustrated nurse tell me that she swore that they were teasing her. That they would sit there quietly until she tried to stick them and then they just laughed and ran. Dived deep and swiveled to the side like expert mice chased by a cat.
There are three people, all nurses, who have stuck me easily on the first try. The first is a phlebotomist in my thyroid doctor's office. She has never had a problem. This is what she does ALL DAY LONG. She is in charge of blood tests. She gently strokes my arm and then just....sticks. Perfectly. Every time. No drama. The other was a nurse who worked at the hospital where I was treated at for leukemia. She worked in the phlebotomy room and the other nurses called her Queen. I kid you not. She was an ugly woman, very overweight and I believe was autistic, or at least on the spectrum. She didn't like to talk or converse. She never asked you about your family or how you were feeling. She never talked about her children, although I know she had a teen daughter because she was absent once because her child was ill and one of the nurses said that they were lost without her. Whenever I had to go in for blood tests, I always begged for Queen to stick me and she usually complied, especially when it became obvious that no one else could get my veins to cooperate. Like, the previous nurse, she would stroke my arm, close her eyes briefly as if she were psychically discerning where that pesky vein was and then, boom...stick and be done. The last one is in the phlebotomy room at my current hospital where I am treated for metastatic breast cancer. She used to work in the pediatric oncology ward, but she said she had to leave because she got burned out after a decade of watching babies die. She told me that she could find a usable vein on an ant and I believe her. She is THAT good.
But, I know that tomorrow....at my cat scan and MRI, I will go through hell because they have to give me an IV injection and that needle is HUGE. It won't work to use my hand. They will have to find one in my arm. Tomorrow will be a very hard day.
I do all I can. I drink so much water that I practically float. I will be honestly sick from over hydration and it means zip. My veins will resist.
I think my veins hate me. I have subjected them to so much torture over the last 4 years that they are literally up in arms. Enough. They are on strike.
I used to think that a port was going to be in my future. Now, I am thinking that they figure Why bother? I think I have beat the odds so many times that most think that this is my last stand and it will not be a lengthy one.
So, if you're looking for me....I'm the one guzzling water and power drinks.
Wish me luck. It is sort of sad when the vein stick scares one more than the testing....
And it is always the same. I always tell the nurse that I have terrible veins and request that he or she find that nurse. The one that every hospital/doctor's office has. The one who is a vein ninja. They never believe me. Ever. Until they try. And then...low and behold...they are true believers. I think it is a pride thing sometimes. They never want to admit that they can't get my vein and are convinced that if I just let them try, they will get it.
This used to make me so mad. Until I talked to a friend of mine who is a nurse. She told me that pretty much everyone says that they are a hard stick and pretty much everyone is lying. That 3/4 of the time, she can easily stick them.
I don't lie. I am not just a hard stick. I am a fucking hard stick. I have been told by many frustrated nurses and phlebotomists that my veins run sideways instead of straight down. That they roll and dive. That they are prone to collapse. I even had one incredibly frustrated nurse tell me that she swore that they were teasing her. That they would sit there quietly until she tried to stick them and then they just laughed and ran. Dived deep and swiveled to the side like expert mice chased by a cat.
There are three people, all nurses, who have stuck me easily on the first try. The first is a phlebotomist in my thyroid doctor's office. She has never had a problem. This is what she does ALL DAY LONG. She is in charge of blood tests. She gently strokes my arm and then just....sticks. Perfectly. Every time. No drama. The other was a nurse who worked at the hospital where I was treated at for leukemia. She worked in the phlebotomy room and the other nurses called her Queen. I kid you not. She was an ugly woman, very overweight and I believe was autistic, or at least on the spectrum. She didn't like to talk or converse. She never asked you about your family or how you were feeling. She never talked about her children, although I know she had a teen daughter because she was absent once because her child was ill and one of the nurses said that they were lost without her. Whenever I had to go in for blood tests, I always begged for Queen to stick me and she usually complied, especially when it became obvious that no one else could get my veins to cooperate. Like, the previous nurse, she would stroke my arm, close her eyes briefly as if she were psychically discerning where that pesky vein was and then, boom...stick and be done. The last one is in the phlebotomy room at my current hospital where I am treated for metastatic breast cancer. She used to work in the pediatric oncology ward, but she said she had to leave because she got burned out after a decade of watching babies die. She told me that she could find a usable vein on an ant and I believe her. She is THAT good.
But, I know that tomorrow....at my cat scan and MRI, I will go through hell because they have to give me an IV injection and that needle is HUGE. It won't work to use my hand. They will have to find one in my arm. Tomorrow will be a very hard day.
I do all I can. I drink so much water that I practically float. I will be honestly sick from over hydration and it means zip. My veins will resist.
I think my veins hate me. I have subjected them to so much torture over the last 4 years that they are literally up in arms. Enough. They are on strike.
I used to think that a port was going to be in my future. Now, I am thinking that they figure Why bother? I think I have beat the odds so many times that most think that this is my last stand and it will not be a lengthy one.
So, if you're looking for me....I'm the one guzzling water and power drinks.
Wish me luck. It is sort of sad when the vein stick scares one more than the testing....
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