The little things
A hamburger. It was that simple. And who would have figured that a hamburger would save the day?
T did. She just has this thing for being able to figure me out when no one else can. When even I have no idea how to help myself.
I'm on this fucking low iodine diet. To say that it makes me crabby is to say that a day with 96% humidity is uncomfortable. I have to have a thyroid ablation in early November and in order to do this properly, my thyroid must be starving for iodine. Thus, the low iodine diet for two weeks prior and two days after the procedure.
When the nurse handed me the pamphlet, I actually laughed. Did they really expect me to give up my COFFEE for 2 and a half weeks? Well, she told me, I could have coffee, just no cream or milk or any dairy whatsoever in it.
I do not like black coffee. I don't like sweet coffee. But, I need at least a tablespoon of cream in it. A measley tablespoon? I can't even have a tablespoon?
No. I could not.
No dairy. I had not realized how much my food life revolves around dairy. I have yogurt for breakfast every day. Or, sometimes on the weekends, I have Irish steel cut oatmeal made with milk. Or eggs and bacon.
No eggs allowed. No bacon. No salt unless it is without iodine. This means no commercial bread. No butter.
The nurse smiled at me. Told me that the good news was that I could eat all the fresh fruit and veggies that I wanted. Well, except celery. And no potato skin. And corn. They have iodine. And....I could have MEAT. As long as it was fresh meat. No lunch meat, nothing processed. And not salted. Unless, it was without iodine.
I was beginning to get the picture.
A few problems. I have always been a bad vegetable eater. I only like celery, corn, raw carrots and tomatoes. So...I could eat raw carrots and tomatoes.
I have never been a fresh fruit lover. I don't MIND fruit, but I would much rather have a cookie. I could see that I would be eating a lot of fruit.
Because the problem was meat. I used to be quite the carnivore. Until chemotherapy. When I started chemo, I suddenly began to have not just an aversion to eating meat or fish of any kind, I could not stand to even smell it. This made my whole chemo experience very challenging for T. She enjoys her meat and loves her fish. She started buying her dinner on the way home from work and then brushing her teeth the second she walked in the door to make sure that I wouldn't have to smell meat or fish on her breath. To make matters worse, I found that not only could I not stand to smell meat or fish, but seeing it on commercials or television shows sent me running for the bathroom to puke my guts out. T became an expert at anticipating Burger King and Long Horn commercials and screaming, "Close your eyes, plug your ears!" She did this for months even after chemo ended.
I got better once chemo was over. A little. I found that I could occasionally eat meat and be okay and I no longer got sick at the sight or smell of it.
So, this low iodine diet was going to be a challenge. The first few days were tolerable. I drank gallons of hot lemon tea. I ate a lot of fruit. I chomped on raw carrots and ate the last of the tomatoes from our garden. But, I was cranky.
I was craving...milk. Bread. Potato chips. Cookies. We looked up low iodine bread. It could be made, but it looked pretty awful. Instead. I ate matzo crackers and unsalted brown rice cakes. Yum.
I was beginning to feel sorry for myself. I mean...FOR GOD FUCKING SAKES....wasn't it bad enough that my stupid thyroid decided to malfunction and grow benign nodules and that my cancer marker tests came back positive? Now, I had to go off all of my arthritis meds, too AND go on this stupid diet?
I kept telling myself that it was only for two and half weeks and then I'd have the procedure done and then figure out where the bloody mother fucking cancer was hiding this time.
It didn't help. I felt picked on.
This morning, we had to skip going to the Cornhusker game because this diet and going off my meds was giving me stomach cramps that made me throw up and gave me diarrhea. Not a good thing when you are in a crowd of 88,000 people.
To say I was cranky was an understatement.
T and I were out doing errands, always careful to be aware of where the nearest bathroom was.
At the end of our chores, she said, "I think I'll stop at Fareway and get some meat. I may be wrong, but I really think you need some protein, honey. Can you just trust me?"
I said okay. Crankily.
She went into the store and came out with a bag containing hamburger meat.
"It is 100% grass fed," she told me. "Just hang in there with me."
We went home and she went outside and lit the grill. We had meant to put it away for the Winter, but since we are having some beautiful sunny days, we decided to wait for another week or so. She made two large hamburger patties and salted them generously with our uniodized salt and then peppered them, as well.
A few minutes later, she presented me with a plate. On it was a perfectly cooked hamburger patty, a sliced pear, and a rice cake. I tentatively sniffed.
My mouth watered.
I took a bite. Oh. My. God. It was SOOOOO good. It was the best hamburger that I have ever eaten. I ate it slowly and with deep satisfaction.
"How in the hell did you know that I needed to eat a hamburger?" I asked her.
She shrugged. "I just kept thinking that you were starved for protein and somehow thought this might work."
I am now full and satiated and no longer so cranky. I think I can do this.
We have a turkey breast and chicken on our grocery list for tomorrow.
Being on a low iodine diet may have just turned me back into a carnivore.
I was getting so fucking sick of applesauce.
Bring on the MEAT.
T did. She just has this thing for being able to figure me out when no one else can. When even I have no idea how to help myself.
I'm on this fucking low iodine diet. To say that it makes me crabby is to say that a day with 96% humidity is uncomfortable. I have to have a thyroid ablation in early November and in order to do this properly, my thyroid must be starving for iodine. Thus, the low iodine diet for two weeks prior and two days after the procedure.
When the nurse handed me the pamphlet, I actually laughed. Did they really expect me to give up my COFFEE for 2 and a half weeks? Well, she told me, I could have coffee, just no cream or milk or any dairy whatsoever in it.
I do not like black coffee. I don't like sweet coffee. But, I need at least a tablespoon of cream in it. A measley tablespoon? I can't even have a tablespoon?
No. I could not.
No dairy. I had not realized how much my food life revolves around dairy. I have yogurt for breakfast every day. Or, sometimes on the weekends, I have Irish steel cut oatmeal made with milk. Or eggs and bacon.
No eggs allowed. No bacon. No salt unless it is without iodine. This means no commercial bread. No butter.
The nurse smiled at me. Told me that the good news was that I could eat all the fresh fruit and veggies that I wanted. Well, except celery. And no potato skin. And corn. They have iodine. And....I could have MEAT. As long as it was fresh meat. No lunch meat, nothing processed. And not salted. Unless, it was without iodine.
I was beginning to get the picture.
A few problems. I have always been a bad vegetable eater. I only like celery, corn, raw carrots and tomatoes. So...I could eat raw carrots and tomatoes.
I have never been a fresh fruit lover. I don't MIND fruit, but I would much rather have a cookie. I could see that I would be eating a lot of fruit.
Because the problem was meat. I used to be quite the carnivore. Until chemotherapy. When I started chemo, I suddenly began to have not just an aversion to eating meat or fish of any kind, I could not stand to even smell it. This made my whole chemo experience very challenging for T. She enjoys her meat and loves her fish. She started buying her dinner on the way home from work and then brushing her teeth the second she walked in the door to make sure that I wouldn't have to smell meat or fish on her breath. To make matters worse, I found that not only could I not stand to smell meat or fish, but seeing it on commercials or television shows sent me running for the bathroom to puke my guts out. T became an expert at anticipating Burger King and Long Horn commercials and screaming, "Close your eyes, plug your ears!" She did this for months even after chemo ended.
I got better once chemo was over. A little. I found that I could occasionally eat meat and be okay and I no longer got sick at the sight or smell of it.
So, this low iodine diet was going to be a challenge. The first few days were tolerable. I drank gallons of hot lemon tea. I ate a lot of fruit. I chomped on raw carrots and ate the last of the tomatoes from our garden. But, I was cranky.
I was craving...milk. Bread. Potato chips. Cookies. We looked up low iodine bread. It could be made, but it looked pretty awful. Instead. I ate matzo crackers and unsalted brown rice cakes. Yum.
I was beginning to feel sorry for myself. I mean...FOR GOD FUCKING SAKES....wasn't it bad enough that my stupid thyroid decided to malfunction and grow benign nodules and that my cancer marker tests came back positive? Now, I had to go off all of my arthritis meds, too AND go on this stupid diet?
I kept telling myself that it was only for two and half weeks and then I'd have the procedure done and then figure out where the bloody mother fucking cancer was hiding this time.
It didn't help. I felt picked on.
This morning, we had to skip going to the Cornhusker game because this diet and going off my meds was giving me stomach cramps that made me throw up and gave me diarrhea. Not a good thing when you are in a crowd of 88,000 people.
To say I was cranky was an understatement.
T and I were out doing errands, always careful to be aware of where the nearest bathroom was.
At the end of our chores, she said, "I think I'll stop at Fareway and get some meat. I may be wrong, but I really think you need some protein, honey. Can you just trust me?"
I said okay. Crankily.
She went into the store and came out with a bag containing hamburger meat.
"It is 100% grass fed," she told me. "Just hang in there with me."
We went home and she went outside and lit the grill. We had meant to put it away for the Winter, but since we are having some beautiful sunny days, we decided to wait for another week or so. She made two large hamburger patties and salted them generously with our uniodized salt and then peppered them, as well.
A few minutes later, she presented me with a plate. On it was a perfectly cooked hamburger patty, a sliced pear, and a rice cake. I tentatively sniffed.
My mouth watered.
I took a bite. Oh. My. God. It was SOOOOO good. It was the best hamburger that I have ever eaten. I ate it slowly and with deep satisfaction.
"How in the hell did you know that I needed to eat a hamburger?" I asked her.
She shrugged. "I just kept thinking that you were starved for protein and somehow thought this might work."
I am now full and satiated and no longer so cranky. I think I can do this.
We have a turkey breast and chicken on our grocery list for tomorrow.
Being on a low iodine diet may have just turned me back into a carnivore.
I was getting so fucking sick of applesauce.
Bring on the MEAT.
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