That kiss
I'm in radioactive isolation. This means that I cannot be around other people until Saturday. I am to stay at least six feet away from everyone. I also have to eat all my food on paper plates and with plastic utensils. My clothes have to be kept separate and washed separately. When I use the toilet, it must be flushed twice to make sure that no radiation lingers.
I feel like I am Sigourney Weaver on Alien. Like I am toxic.
What has been the hardest is not being close to T. I had thought it would be no big deal and frankly, I privately thought it might be kind of nice to sleep alone for 3 nights. T is the hugger in our relationship. I have never been much into hugging. T reminds me of this all the time.
I feel as if I am constantly pursuing you. You are just so aloof. Just once, I want you to come flying into my arms instead of me coming to you.
She's right. I am terrible at romance. I just think that this gene was never given to me or something. I was never the type who liked to cuddle. I don't MIND it. I like being close, but I just stink at saying sweet nothings or nuzzling. Once, when T was in Africa for several months, she called home and after a few minutes, said....
"So...what are you wearing?"
I had looked down and then answered that I was wearing that tee shirt of hers that had the spaghetti stain on it that we were never able to get out and a pair of capris.
"Oh...." She sounded disappointed. It took me a few moments to realize that she was trying to be sexy with me and wanted me to respond that I was wearing a see through teddy or something. Like I said, I am just not equipped to deal with romance very well. I tried to play along and talk sexy back but we both just ended up laughing because I SO could not pull that off.
So, when I was told that T and I had to be six feet apart and not sleep in the same bed for 3 nights, I thought, No biggie. It's just a few nights.
It has been hard. When T came home from work, we instinctively went to hug and kiss hello and we both stopped and sort of laughed and then she playfully waved.
"How's it going, wifey?"
It amazed me how much I missed her presence next to me. She sat in a chair six feet away from me as we watched television instead of our usual cuddling under the blanket on the sofa. I took my shower and she wasn't there waiting, holding my towel. I know that sounds silly. I mean, how many people have their spouse waiting outside their shower door with a towel for them?
I do. When I was very ill fighting leukemia, I was often so woozy at the end of the night that I could barely shower by myself. I, being stubborn, refused to let T get in with me to help. She got in the habit of waiting outside of the shower for me, holding the towel for me. She'd help me dry off and help me into bed.
She still holds my towel and kisses me when I get out of the shower. I know. I am spoiled rotten.
We slept in different bedrooms and for the first time in over 30 years, we did not kiss goodnight. We kiss goodnight every night unless she is away on a trip or on the few times that we have been fighting, Now, that we are older, we seldom fight anymore. All of our fights are pretty much in the past.
I laid in my bed and missed that kiss goodnight. I finally got up and went to the guest room door and asked her if she was awake. She sat up. Yes. She was. Was everything okay?
'
I stumbled over my words but they had to come out.
"I just want you to know that I am yearning for you. I miss holding you and kissing you. I look forward to Saturday when I can touch you again. That's it, I guess."
Silence. And then her soft laugh.
"I know, sugar," she said. "I miss you, too. Goodnight, love."
"Goodnight."
I went back to bed and was able to sleep. I woke up this morning and felt a brief kiss on the top of my head.
I came out of my sleep fast.
"NO KISSING UNTIL SATURDAY!" I growled.
I heard T's laugh as she slipped out the door. "It was one kiss, sugarfoot. I barely touched you. What can I say, I risked a kiss. So, kill me."
I couldn't be mad. I can't let it happen again until Saturday but it is nice to know that after all these decades, after all my failings in the romance department, we still have that thing. That thing that makes a marriage successful.
I plan to kiss her soundly on Saturday. Maybe even jump into her arms.
I feel like I am Sigourney Weaver on Alien. Like I am toxic.
What has been the hardest is not being close to T. I had thought it would be no big deal and frankly, I privately thought it might be kind of nice to sleep alone for 3 nights. T is the hugger in our relationship. I have never been much into hugging. T reminds me of this all the time.
I feel as if I am constantly pursuing you. You are just so aloof. Just once, I want you to come flying into my arms instead of me coming to you.
She's right. I am terrible at romance. I just think that this gene was never given to me or something. I was never the type who liked to cuddle. I don't MIND it. I like being close, but I just stink at saying sweet nothings or nuzzling. Once, when T was in Africa for several months, she called home and after a few minutes, said....
"So...what are you wearing?"
I had looked down and then answered that I was wearing that tee shirt of hers that had the spaghetti stain on it that we were never able to get out and a pair of capris.
"Oh...." She sounded disappointed. It took me a few moments to realize that she was trying to be sexy with me and wanted me to respond that I was wearing a see through teddy or something. Like I said, I am just not equipped to deal with romance very well. I tried to play along and talk sexy back but we both just ended up laughing because I SO could not pull that off.
So, when I was told that T and I had to be six feet apart and not sleep in the same bed for 3 nights, I thought, No biggie. It's just a few nights.
It has been hard. When T came home from work, we instinctively went to hug and kiss hello and we both stopped and sort of laughed and then she playfully waved.
"How's it going, wifey?"
It amazed me how much I missed her presence next to me. She sat in a chair six feet away from me as we watched television instead of our usual cuddling under the blanket on the sofa. I took my shower and she wasn't there waiting, holding my towel. I know that sounds silly. I mean, how many people have their spouse waiting outside their shower door with a towel for them?
I do. When I was very ill fighting leukemia, I was often so woozy at the end of the night that I could barely shower by myself. I, being stubborn, refused to let T get in with me to help. She got in the habit of waiting outside of the shower for me, holding the towel for me. She'd help me dry off and help me into bed.
She still holds my towel and kisses me when I get out of the shower. I know. I am spoiled rotten.
We slept in different bedrooms and for the first time in over 30 years, we did not kiss goodnight. We kiss goodnight every night unless she is away on a trip or on the few times that we have been fighting, Now, that we are older, we seldom fight anymore. All of our fights are pretty much in the past.
I laid in my bed and missed that kiss goodnight. I finally got up and went to the guest room door and asked her if she was awake. She sat up. Yes. She was. Was everything okay?
'
I stumbled over my words but they had to come out.
"I just want you to know that I am yearning for you. I miss holding you and kissing you. I look forward to Saturday when I can touch you again. That's it, I guess."
Silence. And then her soft laugh.
"I know, sugar," she said. "I miss you, too. Goodnight, love."
"Goodnight."
I went back to bed and was able to sleep. I woke up this morning and felt a brief kiss on the top of my head.
I came out of my sleep fast.
"NO KISSING UNTIL SATURDAY!" I growled.
I heard T's laugh as she slipped out the door. "It was one kiss, sugarfoot. I barely touched you. What can I say, I risked a kiss. So, kill me."
I couldn't be mad. I can't let it happen again until Saturday but it is nice to know that after all these decades, after all my failings in the romance department, we still have that thing. That thing that makes a marriage successful.
I plan to kiss her soundly on Saturday. Maybe even jump into her arms.
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