Driving Lucy to school

I woke up this morning feeling like shit. Everything hurt. Life was kind of sucking. The boiler was making that irritating noise. The one that means that we will have to get it fixed soon and it will cost a lot. 

And then, sneaking out of nowhere, a memory came to me. Actually, I was dressed and up and watching the school across the street, the parents dropping off their kids. I thought about all those days that I drove Lucy to school at Montessori. During the Christmas season, I always played A Jimmy Dean Christmas and she and I would sing along to every song. When it wasn't the holiday season, we listened to whatever I had on, usually James Taylor, Bruce Springsteen, Nirvana, you name it. 

There were a few songs that Lucy really liked by James Taylor. Terra Nova. Mockingbird. Carolina in my Mind. But, her hands down favorite was a song called Jellyman Kelly. A song about a man who really loved jelly on toast. She would sing the refrain at the top of her lungs while I drove, smiling. 

"Oh can he come home
Jenny can he come home
Jenny can he come
Oh can he come home
Jenny can he come home
Jenny can he come"

The whole song was pretty nonsensical, but we loved it. It gave a good start to our day. Getting Lucy to school was sometimes hard. We broke all the rules. I was supposed to simply let her off at the door, but she would beg me to walk her to her classroom. I knew that this was against the rules, that it set a bad example for the other kids. But, I also knew that it was important to her in some big way. She NEEDED that final hug at the door. She was fine once she was in the room, but getting in there cost her. So, we broke the rules over and over. Miss Mary, the head of school made several calls home where I promised to try to stop. I tried to explain that this was just temporary, would probably stop within the year, but for now, Lucy needed this from me. I don't think she approved or bought it, but to her credit, she did let it go. And I was right. The next year, Lucy bounced out of the car, sometimes forgetting to even throw a kiss at me. 

1st grade can be tough. 

God, where had the time gone? All that math homework that she hated but was so good at anyway. In fact, there really wasn't a subject that stumbled her. She was top of her class in every one. Especially loved science. Grew to enjoy math. Always loved English. Finishing up homework and then curling up on the sofa to catch up on Harry Potter and his friends, Hermione and Ron. Taking long walks and discussing what house in Hogwarts she should go for? Gryffindor was her hope, but since I had gone to Ravenclaw, she figured she might too. I confessed that I had always secretly hoped for Slytherin, they always seemed to be the most daring and I was daring back then....but I had to go where my soul belonged. 

Once she hit third grade, she became obsessed with play dates with friends and it seemed that there was always a friend in tow after school. She had started Montessori as a shy, timid little girl and now she was a gregarious, energetic girl who wanted to take running leaps for the tire swing in the front yard and bake brownies with her friends. 

We no longer sang in the car on the way to school. Music was replaced with last minute studying of spelling lists or math equations. 

"Have a good day. Make good choices!" I would shout as she scrambled out of the car. She'd wave and take off running. 

But, still in my memory.....there she is.....wearing her fluffy purple coat with the fur lined hood framing her face, those blonde bangs hanging down as she sings out lustily to Jelly Man. 

"Here's a story about Jelly Man Kelly
He sure loves jelly
And maybe someday you an me friend
We can have tea with him....."